I think about this often because my son for the first year of his life clung to me at home and it may because I always tried to do everything with him. Play but also house tasks, and I’ve stopped doing that. I’ll go wash the dishes or laundry or whatever and leave him to his own devices and the kid started playing all on his own, consistently too! It’s amazing, usually doesn’t last too long once I come back into closer proximity to him, he looks to me. But I find being in his face all idea with play ideas or activities is way too overstimulating for me, and sometimes for him.
My rule is always don’t make eye contact or interact in any way with them if they are playing. The second they see me or I ask they a question and pull them from that world then they want to draw me into it!
I LOVE THIS ARTICLE SO MUCH. I am trying to find the balance between letting the kids play on the computer or watch TV or on the games console because it keeps them quite for ages so I can get things done VS them playing outside or non electronic devices and then them constantly "needing" me. I am going to try the "That’s great news, now you get to think of something amazing to do." response to I'm bored (we have a bored jar as well (but some of the things in there still require parent help so I might need to relook at that)! which does work. The kids have decided for the next school terms it's going to be : devices allowed after school on Monday and Wednesday afternoon only and before school only educational games on the computer and only ABC kids!
It must be such a different kind of balance when your kids are older, especially when they are school full time because no doubt they come home exhausted.
It’s constantly juggling until you find something that works.
I love your bored box idea. And letting the kids choose their screen time days ahead of time.
But I also know when you really need to get stuff done a lil screen baby sitting does come in handy!
This was exactly what I needed to hear and it resonated so much with my situation. My children are WILD to say the least. Every activity we engage in tends to be messy, paired with the exhaustion of cleanup and bath time immediately after. Our home is full of marks on the wall, a carpet that we continue to litter with the days dirt, paint, or chalk, finger prints from god knows what, and I’ve come to terms with this phase just being full of life which comes with a lot of dirt. I get caught up in the not engaging enough during play but as you stated , that’s usually the time their imaginations expand and play is achieved through whatever their little minds create. The amount of times I’ve bought the best toys, only to sit in a corner collecting dust while they play with utensils from the kitchen, shoe laces, or anything out of the ordinary to create something new. Boredom is so essential and whether we have the energy or not, constant attention isn’t always achievable so what a sigh of relief that it could just be for the best. Thank you for your beautiful words and making this mom feel at peace. 💜
Oh I’m so glad it has resonated with you. Haha I am somewhat of an expert now on wild children! It sounds like your home is beautiful chaotic mess which I feel like is the natural state of a home when you’ve got young one. And totally yes, this is our dirt era! And when we embrace that it gets so much easier x
I adore this… and have also found the same. Sophia has gone wild with imaginative play and games since Vesper came along and I simply couldn’t engage with her like I used to. In rare occasions Vesper will play alongside her or with her too now and it is so beautiful to see. I love the sentence you say if they say they are bored… going to borrow that one. Zz
Oohh watching siblings start to play together is so precious isn’t it! My boys are at he stage where they can really play together. 100% of the time it ends in a brawl, but it’s so good while it lasts!
It really makes my heart swell… until they end up squabbling… which I didn’t think would happen so early on but with two feisty girls u guess it was inevitable!!!
Sonny and Sylver seem to have the right idea, that what we need is often right in front of us, and intuitively, they know what to do about that. Mud kitchens, fishing rods. Dragon's treasure. All expressions of an imaginative and embodied relationship with the Earth that adults can learn so much from, and which your boys exude naturally. By providing a "healthy dose of neglect," you keep the door wide open for them to explore and nurture that relationship through their intuition and the wisdom of their bodies. The sense of trust that that can build, both in oneself and in the natural world, is irreplaceable, and I pray that it carries through for them and matures into their adolescence and beyond. Thank you for sharing these stories and insights with us, Tansie. You've got a new subscriber.
Thanks for joining Michael. My biggest hope is that I can help them carry on this relationship to the natural world around them well into their teens and beyond.
I think about this often because my son for the first year of his life clung to me at home and it may because I always tried to do everything with him. Play but also house tasks, and I’ve stopped doing that. I’ll go wash the dishes or laundry or whatever and leave him to his own devices and the kid started playing all on his own, consistently too! It’s amazing, usually doesn’t last too long once I come back into closer proximity to him, he looks to me. But I find being in his face all idea with play ideas or activities is way too overstimulating for me, and sometimes for him.
My rule is always don’t make eye contact or interact in any way with them if they are playing. The second they see me or I ask they a question and pull them from that world then they want to draw me into it!
I’ve been working on that so much because I definitely can be a play interrupter!
I LOVE THIS ARTICLE SO MUCH. I am trying to find the balance between letting the kids play on the computer or watch TV or on the games console because it keeps them quite for ages so I can get things done VS them playing outside or non electronic devices and then them constantly "needing" me. I am going to try the "That’s great news, now you get to think of something amazing to do." response to I'm bored (we have a bored jar as well (but some of the things in there still require parent help so I might need to relook at that)! which does work. The kids have decided for the next school terms it's going to be : devices allowed after school on Monday and Wednesday afternoon only and before school only educational games on the computer and only ABC kids!
It must be such a different kind of balance when your kids are older, especially when they are school full time because no doubt they come home exhausted.
It’s constantly juggling until you find something that works.
I love your bored box idea. And letting the kids choose their screen time days ahead of time.
But I also know when you really need to get stuff done a lil screen baby sitting does come in handy!
This was exactly what I needed to hear and it resonated so much with my situation. My children are WILD to say the least. Every activity we engage in tends to be messy, paired with the exhaustion of cleanup and bath time immediately after. Our home is full of marks on the wall, a carpet that we continue to litter with the days dirt, paint, or chalk, finger prints from god knows what, and I’ve come to terms with this phase just being full of life which comes with a lot of dirt. I get caught up in the not engaging enough during play but as you stated , that’s usually the time their imaginations expand and play is achieved through whatever their little minds create. The amount of times I’ve bought the best toys, only to sit in a corner collecting dust while they play with utensils from the kitchen, shoe laces, or anything out of the ordinary to create something new. Boredom is so essential and whether we have the energy or not, constant attention isn’t always achievable so what a sigh of relief that it could just be for the best. Thank you for your beautiful words and making this mom feel at peace. 💜
Oh I’m so glad it has resonated with you. Haha I am somewhat of an expert now on wild children! It sounds like your home is beautiful chaotic mess which I feel like is the natural state of a home when you’ve got young one. And totally yes, this is our dirt era! And when we embrace that it gets so much easier x
I adore this… and have also found the same. Sophia has gone wild with imaginative play and games since Vesper came along and I simply couldn’t engage with her like I used to. In rare occasions Vesper will play alongside her or with her too now and it is so beautiful to see. I love the sentence you say if they say they are bored… going to borrow that one. Zz
Oohh watching siblings start to play together is so precious isn’t it! My boys are at he stage where they can really play together. 100% of the time it ends in a brawl, but it’s so good while it lasts!
It really makes my heart swell… until they end up squabbling… which I didn’t think would happen so early on but with two feisty girls u guess it was inevitable!!!
Sonny and Sylver seem to have the right idea, that what we need is often right in front of us, and intuitively, they know what to do about that. Mud kitchens, fishing rods. Dragon's treasure. All expressions of an imaginative and embodied relationship with the Earth that adults can learn so much from, and which your boys exude naturally. By providing a "healthy dose of neglect," you keep the door wide open for them to explore and nurture that relationship through their intuition and the wisdom of their bodies. The sense of trust that that can build, both in oneself and in the natural world, is irreplaceable, and I pray that it carries through for them and matures into their adolescence and beyond. Thank you for sharing these stories and insights with us, Tansie. You've got a new subscriber.
Thanks for joining Michael. My biggest hope is that I can help them carry on this relationship to the natural world around them well into their teens and beyond.