Thanks Samantha, that must have been really tough to not be invited back at times. Even with all the new age and gentle understanding parenting that’s around now, there is still the underlaying message that if you do xyz your children will ‘behave’. It’s just so unrealistic and places such a burden on the mother particularly in social situations.
Motherhood has been a big lesson in letting go of my internal Pinterest board 😂
I had commented something similar on Kylie-Ann's post, but it is always SO NICE to read that other people have wild children. It's not just social media - a few of my real life friends have kids who play independently and quietly, and sometimes I just stare at them mystified because my son is probably taking a sled down the living room stairs or seeing if he can make a bouncy ball hit the ceiling. I just enjoy the solidarity that I'm not alone over here :).
Oh you most certainly are not alone! I have come across a few of these whimsical children in real life to and they fascinate me as well! I was at a friends a few days ago and noticed she had an expensive glass jar candle on her coffee table. I was like ‘how has your two year old not taken this to the highest place in the house he can commonly and dropped it!’
It works the same way with girls. My daughter will never be a fairy princess. She will, however be a warrioress because she is a force of nature and I’m here for all of it 😊
This made me giggle lots ! And also I love your writing darling 🧡🧡 I have the girl version of your boys . Endles fart and poo and yelling at me in her anger bursts “mum you little fucker”
I felt so much comfort in this post Tansie! I’ve got 2 kiddos (a 4.5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl) and I’ve been grappling lately with how our days look and feel vs. my ideal of them 🤦🏼♀️ it’s so nice to know I’m not alone and to see the release!
Hey Megan, I’m so glad you found some comfort in it. You have two close in ago like me! It’s hardcore isn’t it! I’ve been at war with that myself too, how I wish for a beautiful morning routine where we light a candle and sit and all have breakfast together and sing songs. But they are at such a volatile age where most mornings are just tantrum explosions because I dared to stir the 3.5 yr old porridge to cool it down! I’m just realising at this point in our lives the more I embrace the chaos the happier we all are.
The felt toys!! ha. And oh the beige clothes! i buy a new beige-style outfit once in a while, take photos by a stream, or in the countryside etc, just to have captured it before I scream about the spaghetti sauce that gets spilt or roll my eyes as the spiderman costume comes out the (hidden but unfortunately always found) section of the wardrobe. Mine won't even sit still with lego! I thought all kids liked lego!!
Spider-Man really seems to be a theme in this comment section! Yes, I tried to do a few cute outfits when they were younger for photos but they inevitably ruin the clothes asap! I’ve given up now. I’ve gotten lucky mine are into Lego, but only as they are getting a bit older.
Rafi is wild and calls me bumworm and has dreadlocks most days and hasn’t taken off a hot pink tutu with his Spider-Man shirt in a few days.
💁♀️
But also big energy, likes to break things to see what happens. Needs to be outside. Rarely solo plays.
I love him for it but I hung up my waldorfian fantasies a while ago. Still haven’t let go of all the wooden toys up in a box on a shelf in storage haha but it’s time. He’s really just not interested 😆😆
😂 bumworm! It’s so great, but also hard when they really find their own style. Yep. I need to give away our beautiful felt animals before they truly get destroyed. I had these beautiful wooden animals I brought over here for them and the only time they use them is to draw all over them.
We’re deep into making Lego “vehicles” at the moment. Monster trucks and speed boats and anything with guns on it to shoot the baddy guys!
Ah letting go of the Waldorf dream is invertible. Good by all the pastel silks I’ll never buy...
I always admired those mothers whose children seemed to follow them about like little ducklings. Neat, orderly, and most of all, *well-behaved*. This was not my experience as a mother at all!!! With 2 boys, 4 yrs apart, and the eldest on the autism spectrum, my boys were willful, opinionated, boisterous. Try as I might to reign them in, we were never the cute "whimsical" type lol. Because of my eldest son's condition, it was extra difficult to go out or find inclusion among other mothers and homeschooling. There were a number of instances when we weren't invited back because folks just couldn't understand my son's behavior and the fact that it's not something I can "control" or prevent. Anyway, you're definitely not alone and I commend you for coming to terms with the fact that sometimes the reality of life just does not match the pictures we create in our heads, but that does not mean our existence is less or worse for it. Much love to you and yours!!
Yes it’s actually so much easier letting them be them than fighting it and trying to mould them into what a child “should” look/act like. Wild children are so much fun, even if the all red outfits that are currently on rotation hurt my eyes!
Massively relate to this! I also love the sad beige look but love my two boys’ wild personalities more, and all the Spider-Man reds meaning we don’t spend a fortune on stain remover!
The sad beige! When I found those videos on insta I could not stop laughing! I love those looks but just so impractical In real life. Yes to anything with patterns to hide ALL of the stains!
Tansie this is sooo relatable. It’s funny actually to read this today because we had to leave a toddler group early this morning as my two boys (4,2) were the only children unable to sit and sing nursery rhymes and not spit in other parents’ faces!
Now I know we shouldn’t expect too much of them but that was the first time I thought, no I have to leave 😂
It’s been a week of challenges actually where I just feel constantly fighting the feralness and I dream of the day they sit and do some colouring in or something. 😂
Thank you for mentioning my piece I’m so glad you related to it and I’m not the only one with poor dead insects/bugs on my pavement!
Omg! Haha you poor thing, that sounds hectic. I’ve definitely had those moment too of just having to sling them over my shoulder and walk out of where ever we are because the chaos is too great!
I loved your article so much. We’re definitely in the “exploitative boys” phase together!
Oh my goodness, relate on so many levels. I have a girl and a boy, both of which I envisioned as whimsical creatures in natural fibres and muted tones. In contrast, most of the time we have fluoro rainbows/unicorns/princess dresses and Spiderman a-plenty, the more synthetic the better it seems! Their strong opinions from such a young age have blown me away and as you say, there is absolutely no point in trying to mould them.
I am learning to embrace their ‘spiritedness’, uncompromising opinions and inconvenient taste in clothing/activities and colour schemes and make space for it all (often through gritted teeth!) xx
Haha I’m glad you can relate! It’s so funny isn’t it, the visions we have and what ends up being our reality. I use up so much time with dealing with all the big emotions and feelings that no longer have any mental space to care about earthy tones. My son’s favourite colour is BRIGHT RED, which I can’t stand, but who am I to fight it! Secretly glad I don’t have girls and have to deal with the rainbow/unicorn/Elsa everything 😂
Spirited kids are hard work but endlessly entertaining.
I went to a Steiner / Waldorf school myself and many of my cousins kids go as the second generation now, too. I DJ t have children yet.
The earth tones and gentle colours is not something I remember, I feel like it’s a modern social media trend?
Any colour was welcome, of course there were ideas around temperaments what colours particular children might benefit from wearing but I feel like the space should allow children to be who they want to be, and follow their passions early on. And yes spider man clothes might or sparkly Elsa dresses might not be welcome as you said, at least not in the community but maybe at home 🤭
I’m glad your experience with it was bright and colourful. I’m sure it depends on each individual school and teacher as well as the parents sending their kids there. And totally agree that social media probably has a lot to answer for with this!
Oh I miss our cups of tea and convo! Love this and Love you... Your boys are perfect! Those rare kids that sit still at every circle, clean and play imaginary games for hours with their felt toys... Guess what, they still grow into teenagers- explore boundaries, break rules and push family norms. The mum that posted their whole childhood on insta goes quiet, while they have to unpack their attachments to how their children look to the outside world. Meantime parents like yourself are enjoying your teens as you have already learnt the humble lesson to love your children as they are, even if they don't fit the many silly boxes society tries to fit them in.
It's going to get seriously messy when I introduce my two boys to your two boys! The festive season in our home was constantly punctuated by two eight-year-olds singing Wham!'s Last Christmas with slightly altered lyrics like, "Last Christmas, I gave you my fart," and "This year, to save me from tears, I'll get me a special bum cream" 😂 God help us. Yes, I had fantasies of whimsical children, but instead I have two happy and filthy little men who generally look like they've been dragged through a hedge. More power to them! 😂
Ahahhahaha this made me laugh so much! Sounds like I’ve only got more fart humour to look forward to! They may not be whimsical but they are hilarious 😆
Thanks Samantha, that must have been really tough to not be invited back at times. Even with all the new age and gentle understanding parenting that’s around now, there is still the underlaying message that if you do xyz your children will ‘behave’. It’s just so unrealistic and places such a burden on the mother particularly in social situations.
Motherhood has been a big lesson in letting go of my internal Pinterest board 😂
I had commented something similar on Kylie-Ann's post, but it is always SO NICE to read that other people have wild children. It's not just social media - a few of my real life friends have kids who play independently and quietly, and sometimes I just stare at them mystified because my son is probably taking a sled down the living room stairs or seeing if he can make a bouncy ball hit the ceiling. I just enjoy the solidarity that I'm not alone over here :).
Oh you most certainly are not alone! I have come across a few of these whimsical children in real life to and they fascinate me as well! I was at a friends a few days ago and noticed she had an expensive glass jar candle on her coffee table. I was like ‘how has your two year old not taken this to the highest place in the house he can commonly and dropped it!’
It works the same way with girls. My daughter will never be a fairy princess. She will, however be a warrioress because she is a force of nature and I’m here for all of it 😊
100% These preconceived notions of what we think our children will be like are rarely true. And we just have to love them for who they want to be. x
This made me giggle lots ! And also I love your writing darling 🧡🧡 I have the girl version of your boys . Endles fart and poo and yelling at me in her anger bursts “mum you little fucker”
(After hearing me say it to the flies 😝)
Hahaha I can hear her saying this!! Love our actually wild kids!!
I felt so much comfort in this post Tansie! I’ve got 2 kiddos (a 4.5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl) and I’ve been grappling lately with how our days look and feel vs. my ideal of them 🤦🏼♀️ it’s so nice to know I’m not alone and to see the release!
p.s. your boys are ADORABLE! Keep it up mama!
Hey Megan, I’m so glad you found some comfort in it. You have two close in ago like me! It’s hardcore isn’t it! I’ve been at war with that myself too, how I wish for a beautiful morning routine where we light a candle and sit and all have breakfast together and sing songs. But they are at such a volatile age where most mornings are just tantrum explosions because I dared to stir the 3.5 yr old porridge to cool it down! I’m just realising at this point in our lives the more I embrace the chaos the happier we all are.
YES! Couldn’t relate more to the morning explosions! Sending you peace and flow in this crazy time!
The felt toys!! ha. And oh the beige clothes! i buy a new beige-style outfit once in a while, take photos by a stream, or in the countryside etc, just to have captured it before I scream about the spaghetti sauce that gets spilt or roll my eyes as the spiderman costume comes out the (hidden but unfortunately always found) section of the wardrobe. Mine won't even sit still with lego! I thought all kids liked lego!!
Spider-Man really seems to be a theme in this comment section! Yes, I tried to do a few cute outfits when they were younger for photos but they inevitably ruin the clothes asap! I’ve given up now. I’ve gotten lucky mine are into Lego, but only as they are getting a bit older.
Hahaha this is beyond relatable. The whole thing.
Rafi is wild and calls me bumworm and has dreadlocks most days and hasn’t taken off a hot pink tutu with his Spider-Man shirt in a few days.
💁♀️
But also big energy, likes to break things to see what happens. Needs to be outside. Rarely solo plays.
I love him for it but I hung up my waldorfian fantasies a while ago. Still haven’t let go of all the wooden toys up in a box on a shelf in storage haha but it’s time. He’s really just not interested 😆😆
😂 bumworm! It’s so great, but also hard when they really find their own style. Yep. I need to give away our beautiful felt animals before they truly get destroyed. I had these beautiful wooden animals I brought over here for them and the only time they use them is to draw all over them.
We’re deep into making Lego “vehicles” at the moment. Monster trucks and speed boats and anything with guns on it to shoot the baddy guys!
Ah letting go of the Waldorf dream is invertible. Good by all the pastel silks I’ll never buy...
Love that you’ve gone through this all too.
I always admired those mothers whose children seemed to follow them about like little ducklings. Neat, orderly, and most of all, *well-behaved*. This was not my experience as a mother at all!!! With 2 boys, 4 yrs apart, and the eldest on the autism spectrum, my boys were willful, opinionated, boisterous. Try as I might to reign them in, we were never the cute "whimsical" type lol. Because of my eldest son's condition, it was extra difficult to go out or find inclusion among other mothers and homeschooling. There were a number of instances when we weren't invited back because folks just couldn't understand my son's behavior and the fact that it's not something I can "control" or prevent. Anyway, you're definitely not alone and I commend you for coming to terms with the fact that sometimes the reality of life just does not match the pictures we create in our heads, but that does not mean our existence is less or worse for it. Much love to you and yours!!
I loved reading this! I’m so glad you’re letting your children be their wonderful selves! Much more natural than those other kids! 💛
Thanks Kate,
Yes it’s actually so much easier letting them be them than fighting it and trying to mould them into what a child “should” look/act like. Wild children are so much fun, even if the all red outfits that are currently on rotation hurt my eyes!
Overly controlling parents can cause children alot of damage, I’m glad you’re not one of them!
Waaayyy too much work to be one! Thanks Kate
Massively relate to this! I also love the sad beige look but love my two boys’ wild personalities more, and all the Spider-Man reds meaning we don’t spend a fortune on stain remover!
The sad beige! When I found those videos on insta I could not stop laughing! I love those looks but just so impractical In real life. Yes to anything with patterns to hide ALL of the stains!
Tansie this is sooo relatable. It’s funny actually to read this today because we had to leave a toddler group early this morning as my two boys (4,2) were the only children unable to sit and sing nursery rhymes and not spit in other parents’ faces!
Now I know we shouldn’t expect too much of them but that was the first time I thought, no I have to leave 😂
It’s been a week of challenges actually where I just feel constantly fighting the feralness and I dream of the day they sit and do some colouring in or something. 😂
Thank you for mentioning my piece I’m so glad you related to it and I’m not the only one with poor dead insects/bugs on my pavement!
Omg! Haha you poor thing, that sounds hectic. I’ve definitely had those moment too of just having to sling them over my shoulder and walk out of where ever we are because the chaos is too great!
I loved your article so much. We’re definitely in the “exploitative boys” phase together!
Thank you!
😂 yes we are in this together!
Oh my goodness, relate on so many levels. I have a girl and a boy, both of which I envisioned as whimsical creatures in natural fibres and muted tones. In contrast, most of the time we have fluoro rainbows/unicorns/princess dresses and Spiderman a-plenty, the more synthetic the better it seems! Their strong opinions from such a young age have blown me away and as you say, there is absolutely no point in trying to mould them.
I am learning to embrace their ‘spiritedness’, uncompromising opinions and inconvenient taste in clothing/activities and colour schemes and make space for it all (often through gritted teeth!) xx
Haha I’m glad you can relate! It’s so funny isn’t it, the visions we have and what ends up being our reality. I use up so much time with dealing with all the big emotions and feelings that no longer have any mental space to care about earthy tones. My son’s favourite colour is BRIGHT RED, which I can’t stand, but who am I to fight it! Secretly glad I don’t have girls and have to deal with the rainbow/unicorn/Elsa everything 😂
Spirited kids are hard work but endlessly entertaining.
Loved reading this! It’s fascinating.
I went to a Steiner / Waldorf school myself and many of my cousins kids go as the second generation now, too. I DJ t have children yet.
The earth tones and gentle colours is not something I remember, I feel like it’s a modern social media trend?
Any colour was welcome, of course there were ideas around temperaments what colours particular children might benefit from wearing but I feel like the space should allow children to be who they want to be, and follow their passions early on. And yes spider man clothes might or sparkly Elsa dresses might not be welcome as you said, at least not in the community but maybe at home 🤭
I’m glad your experience with it was bright and colourful. I’m sure it depends on each individual school and teacher as well as the parents sending their kids there. And totally agree that social media probably has a lot to answer for with this!
Oh I miss our cups of tea and convo! Love this and Love you... Your boys are perfect! Those rare kids that sit still at every circle, clean and play imaginary games for hours with their felt toys... Guess what, they still grow into teenagers- explore boundaries, break rules and push family norms. The mum that posted their whole childhood on insta goes quiet, while they have to unpack their attachments to how their children look to the outside world. Meantime parents like yourself are enjoying your teens as you have already learnt the humble lesson to love your children as they are, even if they don't fit the many silly boxes society tries to fit them in.
I miss our endless cups of tea too! And our old lady rants! And yes you’re so right. Much better to learn the lesson early on!
It's going to get seriously messy when I introduce my two boys to your two boys! The festive season in our home was constantly punctuated by two eight-year-olds singing Wham!'s Last Christmas with slightly altered lyrics like, "Last Christmas, I gave you my fart," and "This year, to save me from tears, I'll get me a special bum cream" 😂 God help us. Yes, I had fantasies of whimsical children, but instead I have two happy and filthy little men who generally look like they've been dragged through a hedge. More power to them! 😂
Ahahhahaha this made me laugh so much! Sounds like I’ve only got more fart humour to look forward to! They may not be whimsical but they are hilarious 😆
🤣🤣🤣