SO relatable Tansie!! Reading “early motherhood” unlocked something in me- we have a 4.5 year old son and 3 year old daughter and I’m a business owner and unschooler too. I’ve recently caught myself parenting the kids as if they’re older (especially our 3 year old) but this reminded me that while we’re not in the newborn phase it’s still early. So much grace in that💕 (as I type this at 5am having been up since 3:45am with our 4.5 year old🤣🤦🏼♀️👩👧👦) I know you get it!
This was beautiful to read. I also feel it is a journey that will never be done, my son is 20 months old and I find myself feeling more like myself and some days I just feel like his mom and there is no space for me. Thank you for your reflections on breastfeeding, I’m still nursing my son and I’m trying to have no expectations of anything changing once we stop!
Yes I so agree it's a journey that will never be done. Once they are out of one phase they'll be onto another with it's own set of challenges. It's so hard not to have certain expectations when people are telling you about their journey's and of course you hope for the "best case " scenario. I just know I got really caught out by listening to everyone else's ideas of what what happen when I weened. Every journey is so different. xx
So much of this was like reading my own story - I too flip pancakes in fury when my two sons (nearly nine years old) interrupt my morning writing time! I'm also Australian and in six months will be moving to Indonesia with my family (Bali, not Lombok, but not a million miles away!). I'm hoping to launch my writing life in Indonesia by going to the Ubud Readers and Writers Festival (https://www.ubudwritersfestival.com/). Let me know if you might be there and we can grab a real-world coffee! Thank you for the beautiful reflections on writing and motherhood. 💕
Hey Michelle, Haha nnothing like taking the angry out on the pancakes 😂 That is so exciting you're planning to move to Indonesia. I 100% am hoping to attend the readers and writers festival this year and would love to meet up. I've just followed you so lets stay in contact, it would be so lovely to connect with more writers in real life. xx
Great, yes, let's stay in touch! I've just subscribed to Times and Seasons. Can't wait to read more of your beautiful words and hopefully chat while we surround ourselves with other writers and readers later in the year. 😊 xxx
Yay! Also if you have a look on my profile I have another publication called this Sea Fever. It’s a monthly newsletter for just for friends and family about our life here in Lombok. Feel free to take a look as some things may interest you on the build up to your move here x
I'll have a look immediately! I expect life in Indonesia will be very different to life in China so it'll be wonderful to do some advance reading! Thank you so much for sharing. x
Firstly - stunning picks. Love them. Secondly - I was chatting a friend who is going through all this right now, her second babe just turned one with a small age gap too. And realised, we give ourselves the grace of fourth trimester, we give ourselves the grace of the early years (breastfeeding, etc - although Allegra went until 3 so my body was pregnant / breastfeeding / pregnant / breastfeeding for 5.5 years straight).. but there is this other window we need to give ourselves grace for and that is until our kids are school age. The 4+ category. I always remember looking back at friends kids and witnessing how by 4, there was very little baby left in them, and they were truly beginning to be their own people. Now Allegra is 4... I can see it. My babies have finally gone. I’m actually in that next chapter... no more babies. It’s bittersweet, but honestly it’s been so freeing and relieving. It comes with other and more things of course, but I don’t feel I have to grapple with identity mother vs self issues the same way, because I don’t have babies? I think once the babies are no longer babies, there is just space to be a bit more as your own person again. Always a mother, yes. But just space. The words that came out of my mouth... talking to my friend in the thick of it... who was rushing to get back to work / take on a project / find some sense of self... was, tread slowly, and just know when they’re school age - it’ll just happen. Until then, it’ll feel conflicting. Because it is. You have babies.
Love to read your writing. Somehow I haven’t been seeing your posts so I have some to catch up on. Glad this one popped up. I have been a little quiet on substack though myself x x
Your here!! ☺️ they are the only pictures I can find of my self from the last 4 months, so much they go!
And yes!!! We allow our self this grace then, you’re so right. My working title for this article was the fifth Trimester! Maybe it’s that time between finishing breastfeeding and having your youngest child turn 4?
It’s so true isn’t it. Seeing that 4 yr old independence Compared to a 2 year old is huge .
And it’s such a good reminder to give to your friend, that it will happen.
Glad you’re finding some space now after that very intensive 5.5 years x
Oh and I hope you come back and do some more writing on here 💛
SO relatable Tansie!! Reading “early motherhood” unlocked something in me- we have a 4.5 year old son and 3 year old daughter and I’m a business owner and unschooler too. I’ve recently caught myself parenting the kids as if they’re older (especially our 3 year old) but this reminded me that while we’re not in the newborn phase it’s still early. So much grace in that💕 (as I type this at 5am having been up since 3:45am with our 4.5 year old🤣🤦🏼♀️👩👧👦) I know you get it!
Excited to be connected here!
Ohhh I get it so deeply! It's so hard not to skip ahead sometimes. I have to remind myself constantly x So excited to have have you here
So great knowledge no I’m not alone💕
Love this too! Love your storytelling
Thank you 💛
This was beautiful to read. I also feel it is a journey that will never be done, my son is 20 months old and I find myself feeling more like myself and some days I just feel like his mom and there is no space for me. Thank you for your reflections on breastfeeding, I’m still nursing my son and I’m trying to have no expectations of anything changing once we stop!
Yes I so agree it's a journey that will never be done. Once they are out of one phase they'll be onto another with it's own set of challenges. It's so hard not to have certain expectations when people are telling you about their journey's and of course you hope for the "best case " scenario. I just know I got really caught out by listening to everyone else's ideas of what what happen when I weened. Every journey is so different. xx
So much of this was like reading my own story - I too flip pancakes in fury when my two sons (nearly nine years old) interrupt my morning writing time! I'm also Australian and in six months will be moving to Indonesia with my family (Bali, not Lombok, but not a million miles away!). I'm hoping to launch my writing life in Indonesia by going to the Ubud Readers and Writers Festival (https://www.ubudwritersfestival.com/). Let me know if you might be there and we can grab a real-world coffee! Thank you for the beautiful reflections on writing and motherhood. 💕
Hey Michelle, Haha nnothing like taking the angry out on the pancakes 😂 That is so exciting you're planning to move to Indonesia. I 100% am hoping to attend the readers and writers festival this year and would love to meet up. I've just followed you so lets stay in contact, it would be so lovely to connect with more writers in real life. xx
Great, yes, let's stay in touch! I've just subscribed to Times and Seasons. Can't wait to read more of your beautiful words and hopefully chat while we surround ourselves with other writers and readers later in the year. 😊 xxx
Yay! Also if you have a look on my profile I have another publication called this Sea Fever. It’s a monthly newsletter for just for friends and family about our life here in Lombok. Feel free to take a look as some things may interest you on the build up to your move here x
I'll have a look immediately! I expect life in Indonesia will be very different to life in China so it'll be wonderful to do some advance reading! Thank you so much for sharing. x
Firstly - stunning picks. Love them. Secondly - I was chatting a friend who is going through all this right now, her second babe just turned one with a small age gap too. And realised, we give ourselves the grace of fourth trimester, we give ourselves the grace of the early years (breastfeeding, etc - although Allegra went until 3 so my body was pregnant / breastfeeding / pregnant / breastfeeding for 5.5 years straight).. but there is this other window we need to give ourselves grace for and that is until our kids are school age. The 4+ category. I always remember looking back at friends kids and witnessing how by 4, there was very little baby left in them, and they were truly beginning to be their own people. Now Allegra is 4... I can see it. My babies have finally gone. I’m actually in that next chapter... no more babies. It’s bittersweet, but honestly it’s been so freeing and relieving. It comes with other and more things of course, but I don’t feel I have to grapple with identity mother vs self issues the same way, because I don’t have babies? I think once the babies are no longer babies, there is just space to be a bit more as your own person again. Always a mother, yes. But just space. The words that came out of my mouth... talking to my friend in the thick of it... who was rushing to get back to work / take on a project / find some sense of self... was, tread slowly, and just know when they’re school age - it’ll just happen. Until then, it’ll feel conflicting. Because it is. You have babies.
Love to read your writing. Somehow I haven’t been seeing your posts so I have some to catch up on. Glad this one popped up. I have been a little quiet on substack though myself x x
Your here!! ☺️ they are the only pictures I can find of my self from the last 4 months, so much they go!
And yes!!! We allow our self this grace then, you’re so right. My working title for this article was the fifth Trimester! Maybe it’s that time between finishing breastfeeding and having your youngest child turn 4?
It’s so true isn’t it. Seeing that 4 yr old independence Compared to a 2 year old is huge .
And it’s such a good reminder to give to your friend, that it will happen.
Glad you’re finding some space now after that very intensive 5.5 years x
Oh and I hope you come back and do some more writing on here 💛